Is There a God?
How Do I Save My Family (first getting saved)
This video is about witnessing to others, challenges and strategies for working toward your family’s salvation or really anyone that you know personally. I say working toward, because we as humans do not have the power to save people. You have to remember that only Jesus can save. And only Jesus can save if a person is willing. But there are some things that you can do to try to help them along the way. You can lead them to Jesus and let Him do the rest. You can educate them and let them do the rest. This was a hard truth that I had to learn myself. Someone I dearly loved was so resistant, even combative with me, in the beginning simply because I had changed and wanted to follow Christ, and so my response became getting them saved, because I knew if I could do that, they would understand and they would accept it and our life together would be so much more peaceful. So I started pushing and this relationship was nearly destroyed because it was always a fight, and it seemed that we couldn’t even live in the same house together because we were polar opposites spiritually, until the Lord showed me that He is the one who saves, and what I needed to do was show this person the light of the Lord through myself, through my faith, and my belief, by being patient and loving and supportive, and accepting this person’s choices and beliefs, and respecting their timeline or their readiness for it. Someone else’s may not be ready when you’re ready. Sadly they may never be ready, and we need to accept that and be at peace with it. So, in this video I’ll outline a few strategies that you can follow that can help people along the way, as well as protect your own peace and sanity.
So one of the first things we want to do when we first get saved is to share our testimony with our family and friends and tell everyone that we know that God is real and Jesus is real. Some of us have very life changing experiences and we want to shout it from the rooftops. We want everyone to know that heaven and hell are real, and we want everyone to understand the danger of sin and teach them how good God is and that they must accept Jesus and be saved. If you’re lucky you might find a few that are willing to listen or even interested, or you might be surprised to find out that some of them are actually already saved. I grew up in a very secular, worldly home. I never knew about God growing up, but when I got saved and I was campaigning for Jesus I found that my own mother had already gotten saved, before I was even born, and I never knew it. So that was a pleasant surprise… But sadly, you will find that a lot of the ppl just aren’t ready to hear it, they might try to discount your story, they simply won’t listen, they’ll flat out say that’s not real or that’s not true, they’ll think you’re crazy or brainwashed or in a cult. Some people will be downright hostile and strongly opposed to it, and they might say flat out ‘don’t talk to me about that’. And it’s frustrating and discouraging. If you had brought up any other topic, they would treat you with the utmost respect, but start talking about God and you’ll quickly see where people stand. It can get heated. And that can really take the wind out of your sails. It’s heartbreaking, because you care about these people and want what’s best for them. We don’t want bad things to happen to our loved ones so we certainly don’t want them to go to hell for eternity, and we know that God is the best thing that can ever happen to them. So we try to do everything we can to convince them and this can get us into trouble and actually it can be detrimental to their walk and their belief as well. So try not to get discouraged and read on for some strategies that you can use to witness to people and possible even convert them.
You’ll probably get upset and angry that people wont listen, but the worst thing we can do is fight with people about it, and break down or damage relationships over it. So #1 Don’t burn bridges. That’s not what God wants. He doesn’t want us constantly fighting with people about Him. Now there may be people you need to distance yourself from if they are actively obstructing your ability to follow God and do what he wants in your life, but that’s another topic. On the topic of witnessing to others, you just have to remember that the backlash isn’t personal, the world hated Jesus when He came, some for no reason, and we will experience the same kind of hate and persecution, simply for being his followers. And because of that, it will be a delicate topic for some people. For those people that are hostile or strongly against it, or if they’ve drawn a hard line with you, just accept that you’re not going to change their mind – right now. The best thing you can do with these people is just give them some space. Don’t be pushy about, or overly ‘gushy’ shall we say? Don’t make every conversation it. In fact, there are some people, I didn’t talk about it at all for a while (difficult as it was, because you know it’s a way of life). I humored them in doing things I had no interest in like watching secular movies or sports games, without compromising my principles of course. They knew how I felt. I knew how they felt, and we agreed to disagree in order to save the relationship. So that’s the key. If you value the relationship, you have to respect their boundaries. So don’t invite them to church, try not to ‘shove it down their throat’. And simply love them and help them in other ways when they need you. Be a good friend, mother, wife, father, husband. Whatever you are to them, just be that and be good to them. I know that doesn’t feel very good right now, but don’t lose hope. Even if they aren’t ready to hear it right now or jump right in, just be patient and respect and love them. This may be just what they need in order to come around later.
Probably the second most important thing we need to try to remember is that belief is a choice and following the Lord is a choice. Changing your lifestyle for God is a choice. We have to respect and accept their choices, especially if we expect them to accept ours. The single best thing that we can do is teach people what that choice is, or what it means (ie heaven vs hell). We can share our experiences and our testimony and what we believe to be true as a result of that. That may lead people to believe themselves, or at least be curious, but then it’s really up to them. Educate them in the way if you can. Let them know who you are now, what you know, and what you’ve learned. Then you will find out who is ready and who isn’t, but either way you have to let them make their own choice. If someone wants to come to church to learn more, is willing to get baptized, or just hungry for more, lead them through it! For everyone else, simply educate them so that when they make that choice, they at least know the consequences of know what they are choosing. For people who just wouldn’t believe, I’ve said, “what if it was real?” To which they didn’t really know what to say, and I followed up with, “wouldn’t you want to be on the right side if it was? Are you willing to take the chance of suffering for eternity because you didn’t know?”. Instead of telling them and trying to convince them sometimes it’s better to just give them something to think about.
Your own children can be taught and should be taught. In most cases they are willing to learn, they respect you as a parent and depend on you to teach them about every other thing. So you can show them the way and bring them to church and do all the right things to bring them up in the faith, but again ultimately it’s up to them to make that decision to follow, heart breaking as it is.
Prayer is another powerful weapon we have. I cannot put enough emphasis on prayer. Keep praying for the person no matter what. Pray that God will touch their heart, reveal Himself and His truth to them and lead them to salvation, bring someone into their life (if not you) that can bring them to faith, or open their eyes and ears. You can ask the Father to draw them to Jesus. You can pray before speaking to them that their mind and heart would be open to His word. Pray them out of unbelief and unforgiveness. Whatever the person needs, pray for it. Sometimes unbelievers or those on the fence are even willing to let you pray with them or over them, so you can ask. If they say yes, do it right then while you’re with them! Just don’t say anything offensive. At times I’ve started like this: “Lord, I know this person hasn’t known you yet, but I ask you to reveal the truth to them, and help them to see how much you love and value them and want them to know you…”. This can be really effective!
Another point to consider is, that you may not be the right person to reach them. God does not need you to save someone. He can and will use you to save someone if the conditions are right, but he doesn’t need you. This person may have feelings toward you that hinder their ability to hear or believe you. So, we have to accept that. You may plant a seed today that someone else later in their life will water, and still another person may harvest one day. Or God Himself may reach them. If you look back on your own journey, I’m sure you can acknowledge times when people told you about God, or you even went to church but it didn’t mean anything to you or you just weren’t ready to hear. Then, later on some other occasion, it just ‘clicked’ and was revealed to you in a much different way. So this may be where they are at. The best you can do is try to educate them, listen to them, (which I’ll explain later), and love them. Remember, you are not responsible for their salvation. They are – and it is up to them and God. You are only responsible for sharing the gospel. You may continue to use the other strategies listed here, but even if you do and none of that works, you have to accept that it may not be God’s plan at this time for this person.
As passionate as we are, and as hard as it is to resist, don’t push people. We have to remember that Jesus didn’t push people to believe or follow Him. He educated people on what they needed to know in order to follow Him. He taught them the new covenant. There were many people that would not listen, that turned away from Him and were hostile toward Him. Some simply weren’t willing. He didn’t chase after people or go door to door. He told people what they were doing wrong, but largely he healed, helped, and taught people. Also, many of the people that he preached to, came to Him, or He went to the synagogues. So, generally He was preaching to people that already believed in God, or were curious. They were already at church, ready to learn more. My theory is that God had already revealed some truth to some people, and so they were drawn to Jesus and drawn to synagogue. People walked up to Him in the streets, or if He walked by a cemetery or even a tree, people would find Him, wait for Him, or go to where He was preaching. And I think this is very true today. Once you are walking in your calling, people will come out of the woodwork for your help. He didn’t go into brothels and bars and preach, or to find particular people to preach to, at least it’s not apparent in Scripture – and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. I do believe there are people that are called to do that, and touch peoples’ lives that way. But that’s not the model that Jesus showed us.
Like physically pushing someone, trying really hard to convince someone of something they are resistant to, only makes them more resistant, even combative, and resentful. They aren’t going to want to be around you. Telling them they aren’t saved or going to Hell, or that everything they’re doing or have ever known is wrong – is usually detrimental. They may think otherwise for one thing. On the other hand, you’re basically telling them they’re doing something wrong and not many people appreciate that kind of criticism. Some people get defensive as if you think you’re better or smarter than them, and they will try to insult you back. They might say you have a “holier than thou” attitude. They might have had some bad experiences with so-called Christians or church and this is why they have such an aversion to it. Or they’ve been through some trauma and don’t understand (if there was a God) why God didn’t rescue them.
What they don’t realize is that a lot of Christians have been through similar experiences and have had the same questions, but after knowing that God exists, were able to understand it better and find peace with it.
Not to go off on a tangent too much, but personally I believe it has to do with free will. While some people can do horrible things to one another, God doesn’t intervene because of universal laws and principles that He will not compromise. However, He has personally revealed to me that while He may not intervene, He is with us through it (whether we know it or not) and will use it for good. For example, someone who’s been through child abuse, as an adult can counsel others who have been through the same thing. And many times people who have been through the worst things, end up being pioneers against that very thing and helping many others.
However, even knowing this, we can still respect someone’s feelings and choices.
If you get a negative reaction one of the best things we can do is listen to them, just as you would in any other normal conversation – it doesn’t have to be weird, it doesn’t have to be all about you, you don’t have to tell them they’re wrong or ‘win’ the argument. Just talk about it. If they respond with something like “well I don’t believe that stuff because my religion is witchcraft”, or “I had a bad experience at church”, or “someone claiming to be Christian used religion in a perverted way to hurt me or other people so that’s why I don’t believe”. Ask them questions about it, really try to understand where they’re coming from. You probably had misconceptions as well, so just have a conversation about it. Tell them where you came from and what changed your mind. Or maybe you know someone or heard of someone that came out of that thing and that people turn to Jesus after spending a lifetime in other religions, because they find that He is the one true living God, and it’s the only source where they found a true spiritual purpose that awakened their soul, or allowed them to feel the presence of a living God. Whatever it is, however the conversation happens to go, just listen and try to educate.
An unfortunate reality is that we are usually getting into these conversations early in our walk with Christ when we don’t know the scriptures very well, and when people have questions or challenges, we might not know how to answer. And I think that’s just part of the process because it’s just how it generally happens unless you have a really good mentor when you first come to Christ. If you’re on your own, this is what you’re going through. So don’t feel bad about it. Everybody goes through it. Maybe it gives us a little taste of persecution. It at least tells us what we need to learn more about.
If you are still at a point where you have been miraculously saved and haven’t really witnessed very much yet, you have some time to strategize to try to avoid some of these issues. You can research what you already know people have had issues with before having the conversation, and maybe even start with that. Mention that you know they’ve been through something and you are curious about it because you just learned something that might shed some light on it. If they get offended, apologize and let them know that you only brought it up because you care about them and thought it would be helpful.
Make sure you read at least some of your Bible, especially the New Testament. At least one of the first four chapters, Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. And if something comes up and you don’t know the answer, you can just say well I haven’t learned that yet or I haven’t read scripture on that yet, but this is what I believe right now, or I’d have to do some research on that, I don’t know. I’m still learning but I know what I’ve experienced, I know that God is real and that’s enough for me to want to learn more. Do the research on it later and maybe you can show them some scripture at another time that backs up what you were saying or answers their questions more clearly.
Unfortunately, if you stumble and stammer, it’s not going to look good. It might turn them off even more, because they’ll think you don’t even know what you’re talking about. For some reason people think that when you start talking about God, you’re supposed to know everything about Him. Sometimes, people will take out their anger against God, on you. As if by believing in God, you now have all the answers or you know Him personally. Sometimes I’ve had to say, “well I’m not God I can’t say exactly what he thinks about this or that, but I can tell you what the Bible says about that and what I think or believe”.
I know it can be shocking when someone is just not willing to listen to you, but I think that if you get nervous, this comes from a place where you’re trying to convince. As I’ve mentioned before, don’t try to convince people, just tell them what you know and what you’ve experienced because you want them to find the same peace and freedom that you have. Treat it as if you are sharing any other exhilarating life experience you’ve had. For example, the birth of your children, when you caught the biggest fish of your life, or climbed a mountain. If someone started to criticize the details of your story, you’re response would likely be “well I don‘t know about anyone else, or about that particular thing, but I know what I saw and experienced”. Just be normal about it.
The good news is, if you’re thinking of someone that you have a relationship with and talk to often, you’ll have many opportunities to continue the conversation and try to teach them. As problems arise or as they talk to you about issues or things happening in their lives, or when they need guidance, just continue to love them and help them. Foster the relationship, try to teach them some biblical principles, like forgiveness and loving one another and giving. They don’t even have to know it’s biblical. Many of these principles just go along with being a good person. By doing this, we let them see the light of Jesus through us, which we are commanded to do. Not only that, but if and when they are ready to talk about God, they’ve already got some groundwork done. I have found that my family and friends that were originally hostile toward me, and refused to hear anything about it, eventually came around and were more and more open as time went on.
This alludes to another strategy, most Christians are already doing, but don’t even think about the value. Chances are after you got saved, you told everyone in your circle. We are so passionate, we’re going to bible study and prayer meetings and it’s all we talk about. We post about it, read about it, and really live it all the time. This works to our advantage. When we wear our faith on our sleeves, everyone we know, knows who they can go to about God. We can also work it into nearly every conversation. Prayer, the Bible, Jesus, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, going to church and revivals, living holy, demons, spirits, angels. Everything that’s a major part of our lives now, and as you learn more, you’ll be more comfortable sharing, even with strangers. When people see how you’ve been completely changed, that is a huge statement to make that can spark someone’s curiosity all by itself. Now they’ll know who to come to when they have questions, or when they are ready to talk. Lead by example. If they don’t want to go to church or bible study with you, go by yourself. Hopefully, they will see how happy and fulfilled you are and that may even lead them to want some of what you have. Eventually they may ask to come. So just be patient and be ready for when they do come to you.
So, these are some methods or principles that you can use in witnessing to others, especially your friends and family. To summarize;
- Don’t burn bridges; give people space if needed
- Belief is a Choice; Respect beliefs, feelings and choices
- Pray
- Don’t be pushy
- Love them
- You may not be the right person
- Read the Bible
- Do some research
- Have a conversation
- Teach biblical principles
- Wear your faith on your sleeve
- Lead by example
I hope this article leaves you with some peace when it comes to witnessing. Perhaps you’ve learned something new that you can use the next time you see someone. These are all approaches that I’ve used and found to be very successful. Share in the comments if you can relate to something I’ve mentioned, or if you have a different strategy to share that has helped you witness to others.